Please read! :D

This a creation of mine! Please help me read it and rate it and please tell me what do you think of! Criticising allowed! No hard feelings! :D Here's the link : http://quizilla.teennick.com/stories/22565600/demon-festival-introduction

This is just the first chapter and I am still on my way making the second one. So please help and thank you very much. :D